Billmac's Cancer Blog

Tough Last week

Going through my last week of treatments, just had last chemo on Tue [cisplatin] and have 2 of 35 rads left. It's amazing how much tourture the body can take. Also so tough on the mind. The site and people here are truly a blessing. Has anyone experienced hallucinating affects? After chemo it always seems like I'm back in the 70's when I try to sleep along with chills. Usually takes 3 or 4 days to go away. I suppose the last week should be bad so hopefully it will gradually get better. Just want to thanks everyone out there and hope I have responded to all of supporters. It's hard to focus some times and not sure if I'm responding the right way. Keep up the fight to all [[001]]
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Pen sent you a hug.
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Hal was like that and it was from the steroids according to his doctor. Sounds like you are doing fantastic and right on track.. you are sooo close to the end of this mess!
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Thanks Kerry, the site really gives us a good feeling were not alone.
Your almost there! Hang in there.
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Thanks Mary, well wishes to you also
Billmac, Hang in there, my friend. My stage 4 is in the bones, and my treatment has not really caused any grief. The bone mets are a little different as they tend to cause some pain - but nothing too severe. I'm scheduled for a different type treatment in about a month. We'll get through this thing one day at a time. Ron
Count em down...2 to go. Never had hallucinations except for being overdosed by accident at home on anti-nausea meds....2 teaspoons is not the same as 2 ml. Push ahead....start the healing and take your time. You're not going anywhere right now...get better slowly.
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Pat, thanks again. Maybe I was dreaming I was 20 again HA HA your encouragement means a lot
Almost happy dance time!!! Then healing the process. Radiation will still be working but there is light at the end of the tunnel!I remember I had no energy to do the happy dance when my treatments were finished but I did one in my head! Hugs, Sandyjo
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Happy Birthday, One day early. I hope your recovery is going OK:)Karen
I hope you had a wonderful birthday. I'm sorry this is late. I know the last week of treatment and several that follow are the worst. I do hope and pray you are doing better. Please let us know how you are doing. Hugs, Sandyjo
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No Taste Here

I too am new to site, my first blog. I had squamash cell and HPV pos as well I had my tonsils removed this past Nov. Started chemo Cisplatin and radiation 1/7 have had 2 chemo’s and 25 rads so far. one week left. Hardest part has been unable to taste for past 5 weeks. Have lost 20 lbs so far and can only get down shakes soups and eggs. Doc’s say I’m doing great but mentally it’s tough. Usually very actice and just so fatigued to do anything, even talking wears me out. Try to fatten up now as it will become more difficult to eat and enjoy the pleasure of food for a while. I was hoping I would be able to get my taste back fairly soon after last treatment 2/22 but judgeing by other blogs that looks to be a dream? I’ll be checking on you and hope you can beat this with little discomfort. Best of luck billmac. If any one has post treatment advise or info that would be great. thanks again and good luck to all billmac
Pen threw a punch at your cancer.
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Billmac, It is one crummy disease, but with all the modern techniques, we have a decent chance of survival. We share the stage 4 business, but don't let that psyche you out. Sorry about the lack of taste, but it sounds like it will come back. Sharing helps, and I am honored to be one of your supporters. Ron
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Ron, thanks this site really helps mentally. I wish I found it earlier. I hope your doing well
I started feeling better about 2 weeks after treatment. Your sooo close! Only 1 more week to go! I found this aloe drink at whole foods that was very soothing, and lived on Matzo ball soup and ensure. I am now a little over 2 months post rads. I can eat just about anything now. I still can't taste sweet, but I think that's the last tastebud to come back. Dry mouth is still an issue, but not as bad. Make sure you rinse your mouth frequently with baking soda and salt mixture, it helps. Exercising your mouth is important too. I developed a lot of scar tissue. Praying for you.
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Mary, sounds like your doing great. I am doing mouth exercises and yes baking soda and salt has been a regular for me, what was the name of the Aloe Drink? Thanks for your thoughts
It's called Alo exposed. I originally bought it by the case at Costco, but they don't sell it anymore. Whole Foods has it. It has aloe pulp in it. I would drink a bottle a day right after treatment. The rad nurse thinks it helps, I don't know, but it was soothing for my throat. I only had the left side radiated and no chemo so maybe my side effects weren't as bad as others. It still sucked!
Mary, picked up alo exposed today and finish rad's on monday, will start then. Thanks again Billmac
Take the rest time you need. You're earning it with the destructive treatment you're in. Taste buds - my sweet is still not normal and the dry mouth is more of an issue than sweets now and I'm almost 2 years post treatment. I suppose it depends where the specific radiation did the most damage? Read in your down time and get a great idea of all the possibilities from this set of tonsil cancer survivors....
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Pat, thanks for advice. I had my rad treatment on left side only and my right side seems to be closer to normal I hope this helps the healing. Hope your doing well
Welcome to the site. I am 23 months post treatment for Tonsil cancer. I had pretty much the same regimen as yourself. You seem to be doing so much better than I was with eating at that point in my treatment, so be encouraged. I had my tube out in July after my treatments ended in April 2010. I really lived on Ensure shakes because I just couldn't tolerate or taste food of anykind for about six months or so. Eventually, though life does return to some semblence..only different. I still cannot eat meat very well because of swallowing issues. You might find this is an issue with you as well, don't be alarmed. It takes time for everything to heal. I suffer with anxiety sill to this day because of the treatments and everything. I do have a good life and am still NED. I believe each of us who go through treatment for Tonsil Cancer regain taste, saliva and sensitivity at different levels. We learn to adjust as we go along and be thankful. Again, welcome Billmac and know you are loved on this site.
Barbara, thanks for kinds words. It appears you went thru a tough time. Sometimes I feel guilty because it seems so many are suffering more than me. My experience has been miserable but compared to others I should feel fortunate. This is my last week of treatment and hope to start the healing process. Hearing all the couragous people's stories on the site only make me more motivated. Thanks and I wish you the best
Barbara, thanks for kind words. Next monday is my last day for rad's and I'm done with chemo. I try to fight down solids and each day. Doing mouth exercises too. I causiously hoping my senses will come back fairly soon but am prepared for anything. Hardest part besides not eating is not exercising, just to weak. Thanks again and hope your doing well
I think everyone is different. I was on a feeding tube for about 9 months. I did try to drink things. I remember things tasted metallic for awhile but not too long. Then most things just tasted off. My taste has come back pretty good except salt tasted saltier and sweets, sweeter. Pineapple still tastes weird for some reason and apple still tastes a bit vinergy. Recently some other things now taste a bit off. I am hoping it was medication that I took for a couple months or so but am now off it. I hope your tastes returns soon. Hugs, Sandyjo
Hoorah for Monday!!!! Doing a happy dance when you are finished???!!??? I pictured Snoopy doing a happy dance for me!
Sandyjo, thanks for the kind words, I finsish all treatments this Monday, hopeing for speedy recovery but reading all the posts everyone seems to be so different so I'll have to be patient. Hope you are doing well
Hi Billmac, I feel for you. Right now is probably the toughest month to come. I had a big circle on the calendar for my last day of radiation. I was so looking forward to it. And I was so happy to have crossed the finish line. Why I didn't expect was the miserable month and half that followed. I felt miserable, had lost 30-40lbs, had no energy and was not getting better despite the fact i was no longer getting radiation. In a way I felt a void. There was no treatment, No more routine and the days were filled with nothing but waiting to get better. It felt like it would never come. Yes your taste buds will take a while to come back, and your saliva even longer. But over time you will get all the taste back, and hopefully some saliva. I'm heading into my 5th year post treatment and still have dry mouth and some fatigue. But over all I am blessed. I lived on EnsurePlus (chilled Vanilla or Chocolate only) for months. Eventually I graduated to pudding and cream of wheat. I remember distinctly about a month or so after rad, I stopped off at McDonalds for a sweet tea with extra sugar. My wife was nauseous just tasting how sweet it was. I actually was happy because for the first time in months I rediscovered the hint of sweetness. Canned peaches in syrup was another winner and good first solid food to go back to. After some 3 months my taste buds had come back 75%. The rest took a good year or more. The very last hold out was red wine. It tasted like battery acid :) By cutting it with water and drinking better wines I was able in about two years to get back to a real glass of wine. So in short Billmac, you have a road ahead of you. Just know that spring is coming and you will grow stronger as the days grow longer. God bless Jacques
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Jacques, Wow, every story is so different but yours seems to be the most difficult. I too have circled the calendar for this Monday the 25th. I only had rads on my left side and not sure if that makes a difference, I can get down some small chopped up solids with a stuggle. Still tastes like sh-- though. I have lost 20 so far and cannot exercise which is painful watching you body fall apart. Your story is very inspirational and I'll be praying for you as well. All the people on this site are so nice, doesn't seem fair we have been sick. Luckily I don't drink Red Wine
Nice to meet you! Stay tough, you're doing great and your almost done! Recovery is crazy slow so just be patient! Karen
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Karen, thanks for kind words. Had last chemo tue and last rad is this monday, can't believe how crummy I've felt since tue. Last night I think I hallucinated all night with chills. I know recovery is slow I just hope it gets a little better each day. Thank you and all the nice people out there. I hope you are well.
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Vital Info


January 27, 2013

April 17, 1957

Cancer Info

Tonsil Cancer

squamous cell hpv

Stage 4

1.1 - 2.0 cm



Posts: 2
Photos: 0
Events: 0
Supporters: 12
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